Recently I had the joy of chatting with the women of The Whole Point Podcast about my work as an intuitive relationship coach. We were able to spend some time talking about the difference between the Ego and Intuition and I realized how important it is to differentiate between the two, and how freaking hard it can be to do so when you're in the throes of figuring out relationship challenges and changes.
First and foremost, I want to dispell the fact that your Ego is a bad thing. In recent years it's gotten a bad wrap of being this "thing" that we need to push aside, workaround or ignore. That's simply not true. Your Ego is a very beautiful and necessary part of you. Its purpose here is to help us function in daily life and society. It is here to show us what we want in and out of this life.
Our Intuition is just as important. It's the rudder that points us in the major direction while the wind gets the sails. Intuition is our soul guiding us along the journey to the greater meaning, goals, and purpose in our lives. The Ego jumps on board with that and encourages us to decorate our lives in certain ways. The Ego is the sail drawing from outward inspiration and the direction of the wind in your life. The two together allow you to move in harmony with your greater purpose, drive and the fun beautiful things that life throws your way.
So how do you utilize these two things together? How do you build that relationship with Intuition so you can hear it just as strongly as Ego? Through the use of space in your life. Through engaging with passions and things you enjoy deeply.
Intuition will come to you through different senses and it may not always be the same ones. For me, I get a feeling in my body, generally in my chest or lower rib area (my heart and gut) that literally feel like I'm being pulled forward. When I get that feeling I know it's time to follow whatever it is pulling me towards. It's why I'm here at this moment writing to you.
It's 3:45 in the morning as I'm writing this, I woke up to the feeling of being pulled toward my office. I sat and journaled and felt the need to share this with you. This is using your intuition, in action.
At first, you may feel like you're "crazy." Maybe you're hearing your inner voice differently than you have in the past. Or you get these spontaneous urges to call someone or do something - follow that. The more you follow that the stronger Intuition becomes, the more you're able to use it as easily as you use your Ego.
Your Ego will pop up here and there too, it may even try to distract you from what Intuition is doing. That's ok. Because at first, as you're strengthening Intuition, your Ego is going to freak the fuck out. Here's why - for the last (fill in the blank years you've been alive) Ego has been running the show. If it wanted you to fall madly in love with a person (even though there was some "weird" thought in the back of your mind to back off) you'd do it. If you wanted to be liked by a certain crowd of people Ego would find a way to make that happen, or try desperately and then lose it's shit when things didn't go the way it wanted.
The Ego likes control and likes to know there's a plan. When Intuition first comes in it doesn't feel like there's much of a plan at all. Intuition is much more fluid and it knows there are about 1,000 different avenues to get to the same result, so it's much more relaxed in the way it directs you. It's the rudder remember - so it sets the main course and then the wind does the work with the sail (Ego) to get you there. When Ego first feels this rudder redirecting course it's going to freak out, but once it learns that this is a partnership and it still has a place in the mix it will calm down and take up its role.
I'm sure this can all feel very overwhelming if you're in the middle of "battling" between your Ego and your Intuition. Maybe you're feeling you need to make a life choice between how you've been living and what you're feeling drawn to. Maybe you're questioning a long-standing relationship. Ego is going to want to assign meaning to every little thing and will be questioning everything your Intuition says.
If you're new to this journey and conversation between the two parts of you say this prayer, or set this intention.
I ask that Ego give me space to feel in this moment. Ego, please step back. You are needed and a valued part of my life but at this moment I need space to gain clarity. I ask that my Intuition strengthen and speak to me through a manner that I will hear, see, or feel clearly. I ask for balance between my Ego and Intuition. Allow me the ability to see when I need my Ego and when it is best to lead with Intuition. I understand that all is unfolding as it should in my life and wherever the path may lead it is for the highest good of all involved. Ego, I appreciate you and thank you for giving me space at this moment. When it is time I will ask that you come back to join me. For now, I let peace come into my life and open me up to see clearly.
And so it is.
Simply allowing yourself space like this, to open up and to ask for what you need is a divine act of love for yourself. Doing this will allow you to be more present and to feel your way through tough times.
Learning this balance and dance between Ego and Intuition is a journey. This is not something you do once and it’s magically done forever. It’s a beautiful and ever growing part of your experience. The most important thing is to be in a space of love and acceptance for yourself and where you’re at in that specific time and place.
If you’re feeling drawn to learn more about the balance of Intuition and Ego let me know! I’d love to chat with you about it. You can book a free 30 min chat with me and we can devote it to this topic alone - no strings - just you and I discussing how you can balance your Intuition and Ego in your life.
~ Remember ~
Your path is beautiful and crooked, and exactly as it should be.