Updated: Nov 13, 2019
Shut the love up.
Isn’t that great?
When I moved out to the wilds of the mountain west I met an older cowboy gentleman, who just happened to be out dancing most Tuesday nights when I was, and over the weeks we chatted a whole lot.
One night he told me that his favorite four-letter word is love. He uses it just like anyone uses the F, S, or D word..or hell for that matter. He believed that you’ve either got love or nothing. So why not tell people to use it in every instance, even the frustrating ones?
I remember thinking to myself while in this conversation “Save this one, you’ll need it.”
Little did I know that I’d need it right here and now in my journey as a life and relationship coach.
Today I spent frustrated, I’ve been up and down and all around. I’ve been feeling locked up in my 9-5 gig, uninspired with how to access you all (truly, hello vulnerability - didn’t I promise to see more of you?). Negative, predatory thoughts have been running through my head all day. Preying on the high-vibe headspace I try to get in every morning.
“Why should I...” “Where do I get off thinking…” “What’s all this for anyway?”
And then I said to myself “Would you shut the love up!?” Do it, just shut the ever-present, love up.
With that I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing this is for you.
I’m in the realness now, I’m seeing relationships form and shift, drop and grow. I’m remembering and having dreams of situations long past.
These are the things that I have been brought here to share with you.
Today the biggest thing is - shut the love up. Just do it.
I want you to take whatever negative thoughts you’ve had haunting you lately, say “Ok, thanks for making that point. I’m going away now, and you are too.”
Go dive into something you love. I’m not just talking about whatever Goop is recommending this month I mean go take care of yourself. For me, honestly if you want to know what my self-care is going to look like after this post, it’s going to look like this:
Finish the half-eaten bag of dill pickle potato chips I impulse bought on the way home out of frustration, and plop down in front of the TV. Once there, I’m going to put on a video game...yup a video game.
I’m going to get lost in something that is totally separate from my daily life, the last time I picked up the controller was in May. This is one of those self-care pieces that rarely sees the light of day due to the guilt I feel around it. But I love it, I’m going to enjoy playing a game that is set in the wilds of the American West and enjoy the absolutely love out of it.
Then, I’m going to enjoy a quiet evening. Maybe I’ll pick up a book, maybe I’ll just sit on the couch with my partner and veg out. Maybe I’ll take a shower and throw on some essential oils, maybe I’ll meditate...Mostly, I’m going to do whatever the love I want to do at that moment.
That’s self-care folks, that’s what we need in our lives, especially when they’re running as fast as a high-speed train that feels like it may or may not be derailing.
I want to hear what you do to truly care for yourself. Tell me the healthy stuff and tell me the “I’m kinda ashamed this is self-care” stuff. The truth is, if it works for you then it's self-care.
The only rule is moderation and making sure you don’t get stuck doing it day in and day out to numb yourself.
Allow yourself the bag of weird flavored potato chips now and then, allow yourself to stare at a screen longer than you feel you should. Allow yourself to let your guard down.
Be vulnerable, be real and most of all, care for yourself. There’s only one of you, after all.
Now go shut the love up and love yourself.