It’s a big question, and more often than not, it causes fear to course through your veins when you think it.
Because rarely is “what if?” used in a positive light.
“What if they leave me?”
“What if I never succeed at my passion?”
“What if they hurt me?”
“What if I fall for it again, and it doesn’t work?”
“What if they love someone else?”
“What if I’m not good enough?”
So many “what ifs” And most often, when we hit these questions, we immediately run and hide. We don’t want to know the answer. We’d rather live in the unknown.
Or maybe we rush forward trying to prove that that “what if” couldn’t happen.
You’re trying to control the situation by controlling your mind to not think about it too deeply or trying to get the answer to every possible “what if” so that you’re prepared.
The thing there’s no preparing ahead of time, and you can run forever, but it won’t bring you where you want to go.
Running from the what if’s or trying to control them by understanding every aspect as quickly as possible is a fool’s errand.
Here’s why - because you need to be in the gray area. The gray area is where the healing, lessons, and growth happens.
It’s hard, trust me, I know, but the sooner you understand the power of sitting in the mess.
The soon you find the power of being in the uncomfortable feelings of “what if,” the sooner you can grow and understand that you’re always ok no matter what happens.
That’s where an exercise comes in.
I want you to take a piece of paper and write “What if…” on top of it.
Then think about the situation at hand that has you scared.
Write out every possible “what if” you can think of.
I’m serious, you may need multiple pages, and that’s ok.
You may get tired after 10 and need to make some tea and reset.
That’s ok, but I want you to commit to this. To set aside time to write out every possible what if in one session.
Then I want you to look at something.
Are you alive at the end of each one?
Are you still you at the end of each one?
Good, because you will still be.
And it doesn’t matter what happens as long as you’re connected to yourself.
When you are deeply rooted in your truth, what you know you need, want, and desire for that aspect of your life - you will find the clarity to make a choice, and it won’t matter what all the “what if’s” are.
The next time your head is swirling around a certain thing and what if’s are popping up like dandelions -- try this.
If nothing else, it will feel empowering to have stared every “what if” in the face and know that you’ll survive, and you’ll still be you at the end.
Onward darling, toward that beautiful next phase, I know you’re ready for it. <3