The Simple Practice of Being Intentional Will Change Your Relationships

Being intentional isn't hard. When we do it, we immediately feel better. 

Think about the last time you practiced a bit of intentionality. Maybe it was just walking to the car without your phone out or taking a moment to pause and look out the window and smile at the bird perched on a wire or a pretty spring flower blooming. 

So why does it feel so hard to be intentional when it comes to bigger things in life? Like our relationships with others, our relationship to ourselves, or our careers? 

Because we innately feel force. We feel the force of our expectations. We feel the force of outside expectations and, we fear we'll be judged for the choices we make. 

When you can stop this and start intentionally moving from moment to moment in your daily life, you will begin to release the pressure. You'll naturally start to feel more relaxed and realize that the decisions you make and the "control" you are addicted to feeling is released. 

In its place is clarity, because you're no longer fighting the expectations of your mind and the world around you. Instead, you are showing up for the things you know you want to create in your life in a centered and honest way. 

So how do you get from living inside a pressure cooker where your mind is continually going 10000 miles a minute to living from a space of peace and KNOWING what it is you're trying to create and "achieve" in your life? 

You start at zero, I know that may not be the answer you want to hear, but first, you need to start at the beginning. 

Start by identifying all the things that are clouding your vision. Then move on to one area of your life. I would suggest picking something that feels a bit ominous to you. That thing you have in the back of your mind and you've all but written off feeling good about. Yup that one. 

Now think about what your ideal situation in this part of your life could be. 

Is it finding a job that suits your skills and preferences for life? Allowing you to write if you enjoy writing, or use project management experience, it's a remote work position, etc. Ask your self what your non-negotiables are in this area. What do you NEED here? Then move on to wants, what would be nice to have and maybe needed for this phase of your life? Then ask what your desires are - what would be fun icing on the cake level things? If you want to dive into this work, grab my Mapping Your Needs, Wants, and Desires Workbook. The workbook walks you through ALL of this work in one place.  

Feel into this what have been the hangups keeping you from searching for this work in the past? Of those hangups - what ones are in your control, and what ones are influenced by outside events or people? 

Now take that one aspect of your list and ask how you can move toward that more? 

If it's wanting to work remotely, could you talk to your boss about working at home one day a week? Or maybe you could create your office at work to feel more like home? 

How can you intentionally focus on creating that in your life? It honestly may just be making a list of businesses that allow remote work and daydreaming about it. The key here is to keep yourself from pressuring yourself. Let it be open and fluid. 

As you start to focus on shifting these aspects of your life, if you approach it with a positive focus, you'll get little nudges. Little intentional moments will pop up where you'll think "oh didn't so and so tell me about a new company that is 100% remote-based? I should ask them about that." Boom, darling. That is your intuition coming out in the intentional space that you created. 

Another way to do this, to create more intentionality in your day. Is to ask yourself, "What do I need more of?" Maybe the answer will be "time to relax" How can you intentionally set space for you to do that in your day? Could you get up 30 minutes early and read? Or maybe mute your phone at 5:30 in the evening and just be present with your family. Making small and sustainable shifts as this allow you to create moments of intentionality that then build on each other.  

So start now, where and how can you practice more intentionality in your life? 

If this is something you've struggled with or aren't quite sure how to execute, this is where 1:1 coaching can be so beneficial. Let's start there, with a free session to chat about how you can really ground into this work and find the intentionality you so desire.

And below is a quick break down of how to get to this space.

The Steps to Getting More Intentional

  1. You can make a simple list of what isn't working, what's clouding your vision in life currently. Vent! 

  2. Choose your area in life you'd like to shift and make more intentional and aligned with what you want in life. 

  3. Make a list of what you want to happen. 

  4. Make a list of what's been holding you back. 

  5. Take one small, deliberate step to make space for what you want to create and one small step to release beliefs or thoughts that are holding you back. This could be a mantra or a reminder on your phone etc. 

Repeat step 5 over and over as you go through the list you made in step 3. These actions will slowly build on themselves and start building an intentional approach for you in your life. 

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